How to take a shorter shower
Admittedly, I take really long showers. Well I used to. At one point I could be seen in the shower with a full bowl of cereal, a cup of coffee, or an apple (the list could go on, if I weren’t so proud, but I will just note this: don’t bring hot wings in there. The reward in doing this isn’t even close to being worth it.) But in the past couple of weeks I’ve been working on a routine that could finally put an end to the 12 minute shower.
It’s simple. I eat breakfast, and I take a shower. These are the first two instinctual tasks that come to mind when I wake up; the two already coexist in my mornings. So here’s how I tie them together to achieve a 3 minute shower. I don’t have a toaster or a microwave, so the bagel takes about four and a half minutes to toast in my toaster oven. So I place the halves on the tray, set the oven to cook without a timer, and make for the bathroom. Now I’m forced to work at a pace that a bomb technician could be proud of. And if I don’t hurry, I’ll have a bagel as tough and as black as Wesley Snipes holding a sword.
I’ve been at it for about two weeks now and I haven’t taken a long shower since it started. I value a good bagel too much to do that. Also, the panic helps me wake up in the morning and it’s sort of fun. If you suffer from the same greed that I did, I suggest you give this a try. A couple of alternatives that come to mind are cracking an egg onto a medium heated pan, or pouring a bowl of cereal before you get in. If you don’t want it to be soggy, then get the hell out of the shower.
There is very little you could do to make me take a shorter shower. Yes, I know it uses about a billion litres of water when I’m in for ten-fifteen minutes, but I love a really hot (almost scalding) shower too much to even care about soggy cereal or burnt toast or anything really. Not that I even have much of a breakfast.
Bah, all this talk of showers makes me want one now.
